Wesley: I'm still stuck
back at, "Why on earth are we here?"
Fred: What, because we're crusaders against evil and now the law firm
that represents most of the evil in the world has given us its LA branch to run
however we want, probably in an attempt to corrupt, divide, or destroy us, and
we all said yes in, like, 3 minutes?
Wesley: Your run-on sentences have got a lot less pointless.
Fred: Oh, that's so sweet. And a tad condescending.
Gunn: We can switch if you
don't like the - you know, the kung pao or whatever.
Wesley: Feng Shui.
Gunn: Right. What's that mean again?
Wesley: That people will believe anything. Actually, in this place, Feng
Shui will probably have enormous significance. I'll align my furniture the wrong
way and suddenly catch fire or turn into a pudding.
Lorne: Yeah, that carpet's great because I want our clients to become
sick and vomit.
Angel: (tries his phone) Uh... can I get a cup of coffee or
something?
Phone menu voice: You have reached Ritual Sacrifice. For goats, press one,
or say "goats."
Angel presses another button
Phone menu voice: To sacrifice a loved one or pet, press the pound key.
Angel: Harmony.
Harmony: Hey! Boss.
Angel: You're my secretary?
Harmony: Hello! Assistant.
Angel: Explain why I shouldn't kill you?
Harmony: Secretary's fine.
Angel: No, it's not fine. Where is it fine? You've been working here?
Harmony: Yeah-huh.
Angel: Why?
Harmony: Well, duh! I'm a single undead gal trying to make it in the big
city -- I have to start somewhere and they're evil here. They don't judge.
They've got the necrotempered glass -- no burning up -- a great medical plan,
and who needs dental more than us?
Wesley: Well, I thought a familiar face would be just the thing in a
place like this.
Angel: You turned evil a lot faster than I thought you would.
Wesley: Nonsense.
Angel: Because you're guilty.
Fries: Of course I'm guilty. What the hell are you changin' the subject
for? The point is, when Holland Manners was running things, this would've never
got to trial. Now, I bring a lot of money into this firm, more than most, and I
don't do that so I can be handed over to the frickin' law. You gotta get me off.
Angel: It's strange, my lack of incentive.
Angel: What? I'm not allowed to hit people?
Wesley: Not people capable of genocide
Angel: Those are exactly the types of people I should be allowed to hit!
Angel: Oh, God, they're so beautiful. (his new cars)
Fred: The lab technician?
Knox: Yeah. I don't know him. Oh, okay, he was fired. (reads) Oh, no, I'm
sorry. He was set on fire.
Eve: The rest of the world,
including your best friends never even heard of Connor.
Angel: That's not a name I want passing through your lips.
Eve: And what would you like passing through my lips?
Gunn: I'm asking that you recuse yourself from this trial.
Judge: The thin ice you are on is over very deep water.
(Gunn presents the Judges' stock connections to Fries)
Judge: You submit that I could have possibly known about this connection?
Gunn: I found out, and I've been on the case 6 hours.
Judge: The ice is melting Counselor.
Gunn: The Defense submits it has learned how to swim.
Agent Hauser: You really think you can solve the problem? Come into
Wolfram and Hart and make everything right? Turn night into glorious day? You
pathetic little fairy.
Angel: I'm not little.
Wesley: Spike?
Angel: Spike!
Harmony: Blondie Bear?
Spike: What? What's
happened to me?
Harmony: Well, I'm no doctor, but I think you're a ghost.
Spike: I must be in
hell.
Lorne: Uh, no. L.A., but a lot of people make that mistake.
Lorne:
Honey of a story.
Wesley: Story?
Lorne: Yeah, the vampire slayer both men loved, both men lost. Oh, I
could sell that to any studio in a heartbeat. I see Depp and Bloom. But then I
see them a lot. Sorry. Hazard of running the entertainment division. Gotta get
out more.
Fred: So Spike and Buffy are...
Wesley: He was, um, an ally of hers for some time, at least that's what
Angel told me. That's all Angel told me.
Gunn: So he's a good-guy vampire like Angel.
Angel: He's nothing like me.
Spike: Got that right.
Fred: Weird. I'm getting electromagnetic readings consistent with
spiritual entities, but there's no ectoplasmic matrix.
Gunn: Meaning?
Fred: Ectoplasm's what makes ghosts visible to the human eye. If he's a
ghost, technically we shouldn't be able to see him. And I'm detecting brainwave
activity.
Angel: On Spike? That is weird.
Fred: Also, ghosts generally absorb light and heat energy making the area
around them a few degrees cooler. Spike's radiating heat.
Spike: Think I'm hot, do you?
Fred: Mmm lukewarm. Just above room temperature.
Fred: Maybe he's here for a reason. You know, some higher purpose or
something he's destined for. Sent to us by the Powers That Be to help us or...
Spike: Who gave them the bloody right to do that? Can't a man die in
peace without some high almighty deciding it's not his time? Let's have a little
more fun with him, eh? You'd think that saving the sodding world be enough to
earn me a rest. You'd think.
Fred: Spike?
Spike: Hmm? (looks down at his body, he is disappearing) Oh,
balls.
Wesley: Did, did you just say, Spike has a soul? You never said.
Angel: Didn't seem worth mentioning, you know.
Gunn: Seems to be a lot of that.
Spike: Or maybe Captain Forehead was feeling a little less special.
Didn't like me crashing his exclusive club, another vampire with a soul in the
world.
Angel: You're not in the world, Casper.
Angel: I'm meeting with Grox'Lars?! They eat babies!
Harmony: Just their heads.
Angel:
I'm in a meeting, Spike.
Spike: Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't care.
Harmony: (to Spike) Listen, I know I was a little crabby before. I
mean, hello?! A little akward seeing you at my work. But if you want to talk or
something, you know, about us or... (Spike walks away) Ok. Too soon. I
understand... Slayer-loving freak.
Angel:
Out of my chair.
Spike: Make me.
Angel: We're--I'm from Wolfram & Hart.
Spike: I'm his date.
Hainsley:
A ghost, huh? You brought a ghost as your backup, vampire?
Spike: I'm not here to back him up. I just haunt the bastard.
Butler: Mr. Hainsley has asked that I send you back to Wolfram & Hart,
gentlemen. In a manner of speaking. (He takes out two butcher knives and
swings them around)
Spike: Uh-oh. Looks like it's buckets for you.
Butler: (Angel takes a spoon from a teacup and throws it in the
Butler's forehead) Aah!
Spike: A spoon?! That's just... (Butler removes the spoon) Well,
Ok, That's more... (Butler falls down dead) Disappointing, really.
Angel: What is your problem?
Spike: You are, ya ponce! You're my problem. You got it too good. You're
king of a 30-floor castle, with all the cars, comfort, power, and glory you
could ever want, and here I save the world, throw myself on the proverbial hand
grenade for love, honor, and all the right reasons, and what do I get? Bloody
well toasted and ghosted is what I get, isn't it? It's just not fair.
Angel: Fair?! You asked for a soul! I didn't. It almost killed me. I
spent a hundred years trying to come to terms with infinite remorse. You spent 3
weeks moaning in a basement, and then you were fine! What's fair about that?!
Spike: Are you getting blurry, or is it... (Spike disappears)
Angel: (throws his hands up in aggravation) Unh!
Spike: I'm slippin'.
Fred: What?
Spike: Don't wanna go, but it's like, it's like the ground underneath me
is, splitting open and my legs are, straddling both sides of this bloody big
chasm. It's getting wider, pulling me in.
Fred: Is that, is that what's happening when you keep vanishing?
Spike: I know what's down there, where it's trying to take me. And it's
not the place heroes go. Not by a bloody long shot. It's the other one. Full of
fire and torment. And it's happening. And I'm terrified. ...Help me?
Spike: We got a history, him and me. [Wesley]
Fred: What?
Spike: It was a long time ago. He was a young Watcher, fresh out of the
academy, when we crossed paths. It was a, what-you-call, battle of wills... and
blood was spilled. Vendettas were sworn. It was a whole--
Fred: My God... you're so full of crap.
Spike: Yeah. OK.
Spike: I had a wee spat with a werewolf myself once. Fought for over an
hour. Brutal, vicious. Almost lost my--
Fred: Angel killed him with a pen.
Gunn: Traffic cameras. We networked?
Wesley: Yep.
Gunn: I'm looking at the cameras. You get set to run with it if I find a
match. 'Course I might leak the info to the Senior Partners, 'cause we're tight.
Wesley: Just do it.
Spike: Lot of fuss over one girl. Other things to do around
here -- important things.
Angel: You know that whoosh thing that you do when you're suddenly
not there anymore? I love that.
Nina: Don't tell me what you know. You didn't wake up and find out you're
a... monster. You don't know anything.
Angel: I'm not a werewolf like you, but I--I know what it's like. I'm a
monster, too.
Nina: So... what? You're like a Frankenstein?
Angel: What? No! I'm--I'm a vampire.
Nina: How would you--you're not a monster, too, are you?
Fred: Nope. Standard-issue science nerd. I did spend 5 years in a demon
dimension... till Angel saved me.
Nina: Guess he saves a lot of girls, huh?
Fred: Girls, guys... puppies. He's pretty much an equal-opportunity saver.
Fred: The scariest thing was how organized they were. Almost military.
Wesley: An underground monster-hunting military organization. It's
happened before.
Crane: When I dined on Werewolf in Seville, the Cocinera used an
understated Mole sauce to bring out the meat's tanginess. I've never forgotten
that exquisite burst of taste. But Chef Renaud swears serving it en neige
with a light drizzle of white truffle oil will be quietly surprising.
Gunn: I'm all up in the law now, but damn it feels good to get my
violence on.
Gunn: So... werewolf girl. Think you got a shot?
Angel: She gave me a look.
Wesley: Really? A look?
Lorne:
Just order the usual, Fredikins.
Angel: I'm buying.
Lorne: Ladies and gentlemen, hell just froze over.
Fred: I've been working on a theory. Well, more of a hunch, actually, but
I think I'm getting close.
Spike: To making me a real boy again?
Fred: Heh. As real as a vampire with a soul can be. It won't be like
Angel's thing with the prophecy, but...
Spike: What prophecy?
Fred: The shan-shoe-ha something or 'nother. Says that if Angel helps
enough people, he gets to be human again.
Spike: Oh. Really. Good for him.
Lorne: (into his cell phone) Bubie, I negotiated that deal with my
own two horns. Second billing right after Gwyneth. Yeah. No, stop crying, stop
crying. It's ok you put on a couple of pounds since casting. Yeah, they can't
just--no, no, no, no. Just put the pills down. I'll straighten this out. If I
can't, I'll take a handful myself.
Angel: I just want you to be careful, Fred, because I know how charming
Spike can be.
Eve: He is quite the dish, with those eyes...
Fred: And the hair and the cheeks and--what do you think I am, stupid? I
know he's been playing me with the looks and the smiles. I'm not some idiot
schoolgirl with a crush.
Angel: Then what is it?
Fred: It's about doing what's right. Remember?
Spike: Never much for small talk, were you? Always too busy trying to
perfect that brooding block-of-wood mystique. God, I love that.
Angel: Not as much as I loved your nonstop yammering.
Spike: The way you always had to be the big swingy, swaggerin' around,
barkin' orders...
Angel: Never listening...
Spike: Always interrupting...
Angel: And your hair. What color do they call that, radioactive?
Spike: Never much cared for you, Liam, even when we were evil.
Angel: Cared for you less.
Spike: Fine.
Angel: Good. (they sit in silence) There was one thing about you...
Spike: Really?
Angel: Yeah, I never told anyone about this, but I--I liked your poems.
Spike: You like Barry Manilow.
Gunn: (re: Spike disappearing) Give him 20 minutes. He'll be
popping up next to you in the bathroom making cracks about your -- (odd looks
from Fred and Wesley) Am I the only one he does that to?
Fred: You don't know what Spike's dealing with, where he goes when he
disappears, he told me, (dramatic pause) it's Hell. He's slipping into
Hell.
Gunn: (nonchalantly) Kinda figured.
Wesley: Of course.
Gunn: Where else would he be headed?
Angel: Last conduit took the form of that creepy little girl. No telling
what the new one's decided to look like.
Gunn: Actually it's not that bad... (animal growls and snuffles)
if you like cats.
Angel: I'm kind of a dog person.
Spike: You're right. I do deserve to go to Hell. But not today. (he
punches Pavayne)
Pavayne: You dare!
Spike: Quite a bit, mate. Reality bends to desire. That was it, right?
That's why I could touch Fred, write your name in the glass. All I had to do was
want it bad enough. (his clothes rematerialize) And guess what I want to
do now, you prissy son of a bitch!
Spike: No. I'm not gonna end up like Pavayne--cheating Hell any way he
could, no matter who it hurt.
Fred: Just proves what I've been telling everybody.
Spike: That I'm a handsome devil who brightens the place up?
Fred: That you're worth saving.
Angel: (re: party) I wasn't too crazy about this thing to begin
with. I mean, we are talking about our clients, right? Our evil clients. Not the
sort of folks I really like to show a good time. I'd be a lot happier if the
whole thing just kind of fell through. Then we could get back to--
Lorne: Ha! Ha! Ha! Ok! Ok! You're killin' me! Can't you just feel up the
big picture, Mr. Magoo? It's not about good and evil. It's about party! Party!
Capital "p"! Rhymes with "me"? About to have a stroke here 'cause you're killin'
me!
Lorne: (re: party) Yeah. You know, Angel, I--I don't have have
superhuman strength, and I'm not a fighter. Quantum physics makes me nauseous, I
barely made a passing grade at mystical studies, but I'm on your team. This is
something I can do. I believe it has a purpose that can help you, even if you
don't.
Lorne: Angel. It's a graveyard out there, and all the guests wanna meet
the new guy in charge.
Angel: Look, Lorne, I--I--I have things. I'm busy. I'm brooding.
Lorne: (sees the television) Oh, you're watching hockey!
Angel: Yeah, but my team is losing
Angel: (greeting Sebassis) And you look just--well I don't have to
tell you how awesome you look. You know how awesome you look. He knows how
awesome he looks, right?
Fred: I mean, wow. Wes. Wesley. I am totally drunk-faced.
Wesley: Because you can't hold your--what are you drinking?
Fred: Nothing.
Wesley: You can't hold that.
Wesley: Hey. Hey, Gunn. Is something weird going on? (looks down)
Charles, you just peed on my shoes.
Gunn: I'll be damned. That's weird.
Spike: (re: Angel and Eve) Hey! Angel's getting some! Good on you,
mate!
Angel: Wes, Fred, go find Lorne's sleep and figure out a way to put it
back in his head.
Wesley: Yes, sir.
Fred: Done and doner.
Angel: Lorne, you just stay tight and try not to, you know, talk.
Lorne: Angel, we still got a party going on. Someone has to make sure
there's ice in the drinks.
Angel: Oh, right.
Spike: Ooh, ooh! Me! Me! I'm your people person.
Angel: Gunn, go on the floor, see if anyone else is under the Lorne
effect.
Gunn: Check.
Angel: And stop with the--
Gunn: Do my best.
Angel: And, Eve, you stay here with me, and we'll have more sex.
Harmony: (re: Lorne on the ground) Oh, my God! They shot
Lorney-Tunes.
Angel: Eve. So I guess we should, I don't know, talk?
Eve: About what?
Angel: About what happened back there with us.
Eve: Angel, it's not like this is the first time I've had sex under a
mystical influence. I went to U.C. Santa Cruz.
Spike: You pissed in the Big Man's chair? That's fantastic!
Gunn: Spike, can you please turn off that warm fuzzy?
Spike: What, the Lorne thing? Worn off. I just think that's bloody
fabulous.
Angel: I know, I'm just... I don't know, just feeling a bit...
Spike: Squishy?
Angel: Disconnected.
Spike: Are you serious? Here you are, finally living a piece of the high
life--new clothes, new cars, my old tumble fetching you tasty snacks--and what's
your gripe? "I feel disconnected." You want to feel disconnected, try being a
bloody ghost for a bit. Try bobbin' around with no touch or taste or smell. Not
many fates worse than that, I'd wager. (Number 5 walks past with mail cart)
Ok, maybe that.
Spike: Hey! Fred! Did ya hear? Angel attacked the old mail guy.
Angel: What?!
Fred: Not Number 5? You didn't hurt him?
Angel: No. I--he attacked me.
Wesley: We should find him.
Spike: Absolutely. Wanna buy him a pint. Bloody made my day.
Lorne: Once the word spreads you beat up an innocent old man, well, the
truly terrible will think twice before going toe-to-toe with our Avenging Angel.
Spike: Yes. The geriatric community will be soiling their nappies when
they hear you're on the case. Bravo.
Gunn: Still not sure why Blondie Ghost tagged along.
Spike: Not much choice really, is there? Can't drink, smoke, diddle my
willy. Doesn't leave much to do other than watch you blokes stumble around
playing Agatha Christie.
Wesley: Yeah, remind me again how you ended up in the front seat.
Spike: Called shotgun, mate.
Wesley: Oh. (pulls up a shotgun) I thought we were doing a weapons
check. (moments later) Angel, the church we're looking for is about half
a mile... (Angel suddenly spins the car around in a 180)
Spike: Always was a bit of a drama queen.
Angel: The reason why I know this Aztec demon is not eating the hearts of
heroes is... He didn't take mine. Am I honestly supposed to believe that it had
no problem sticking a sword in my stomach but then decided, "Oh wait, his
heart's not heroic enough?" Ha! I don't think so.
Wesley: I understand you're feeling rejected. But this Aztec warrior...
it wants the hearts for sustenance. It wants it for the meat, not the metaphor.
Angel: What are you saying?
Gunn: As meat goes, your heart's a dried-up hunk of gnarly-ass beef jerky.
Angel: Yeah, but, stick a piece of wood in it, and I still die.
Wesley: Spike says you no longer believe in the Shanshu prophecy.
Angel: [sighs] Of course not. Prophecies are nonsence. You know that. Oh,
come on, Wes, after everything we've seen in the past couple of years? "The
Father Will Kill The Son."
Wesley: What are you talking about?
Angel: Look, we're getting the work done. As long as I keep doing what I
do, doesn't matter if I believe in the Shanshu or any other prophecy.
Wesley: I'm sorry, Angel, but nothing matters more. Hope: it's the only
thing that will sustain you, that will keep you from ending up like Number 5.
Wesley: (re: talisman) Is there a drawing of it?
Gunn: Negative. All I know is that it's gold, about the size of a quarter,
and has the sun and some other spooky mumbo-jumbo carved into it.
Angel: (realizes he saw the talisman at the home of Number 5 and
rushes off without a word)
Spike: Oh, see! Drama queen.
Angel: (re: Hermanos fighting) We're trying to kill it, not pin
it! (they stake the demon by each limb to the ground with pikes) Ok.
Pinning works.
Fred: What hit that guy?
Wesley: Not sure. (jumps out with two guns blazing)
Fred: (sarcastic) Yes, thank you, Wesley. I'd love a gun.
Eve: (re: Wesley) Willing to risk anything... or anyone... for the
greater good. Look, hey...I'm just asking. Could it be there's another reason
you're getting so mad at him about this? Mmm... stealing your son, for instance?
Angel: We don't talk about my son.
Roger: Your name's proven to be a point of contention. There is some who
believe that your tenure as watcher ranks as our most embarrassing failure.
Wesley: Really? I beat out everybody dying in an explosion as most
embarrassing failure.
Fred: (re: cyborg) This thing really blurs the line between human
and robot.
Spike: Aha! So you're not ruling out that a human being could've boffed a
robot. (silence) Sex with robots is more common than most people think.
Spike: (re: Roger) Daddy, eh? I always though Wesley was grown in
some sort of greenhouse for dandies.
Roger: Spike.
Spike: You've heard of me?
Roger: No, we've met. 1963, my colleagues and I fell upon you
slaughtering an orphanage in Vienna. Killed 2 of my men before you escaped.
Spike: Oh... how've you been? (silence. Spike walks away)
Angel: What happened?
Spike: I can explain. Apparently, when Percy here was younger, he used to
be known as "Head Boy."
Angel: Yeah, I already knew that.
Spike: Right. I have nothing else to report.
Eve: (the lights go off in the elevator) That's odd.
Spike: I know what this is. You'll never take me to Hell, Pavayne! (emergency
lights turn on) Oh. Well, that's just something I say, when, uh... it gets
dark.
Wesley: You went to a lot of trouble to get this staff. You had us
attacked, you smuggled in a weapon, you brought in an army so you could escape.
I don't know why you're doing all this, but did you ever once consider there
might be another way? Did you ever once consider talking to me about it?
Roger: No. You've failed me enough for one lifetime.
Angel: (re: enemies) They're all trying to bring us down. The
perception is that we're weak.
Wesley: No. The perception is that I'm weak. That's why they went for me.
Angel: They're wrong. You do what you have to do to protect the people
around you. To do what you know is right, regardless of the cost. You know, I
never really understood that. You're the guy who makes all the hard decisions,
even if you have to make 'em alone.
Angel: You know... I killed my actual Dad. It was one of the first
things I did when I became a vampire.
Wesley: I hardly see how that's the same situation.
Angel: Yeah. I didn't really think that one through.
Spike: Heard what happened up top, offing your dad and all. Don't know if
you know this, but, uh... I killed my mum. Actually, I'd already killed her, and
then she tried to shag me, so I had to--
Wesley: Thank you. (holds up his hands) I'm... very comforted.
Wesley: If you're here to tell me about how you killed your
parents... perhaps it could wait for another time.
Fred: What? No. They're fine.
Fred: Part of you knew. Even if you can't admit it to yourself, part of
you knew it wasn't him.
Wesley: No. I was sure it was him. You were there. I killed my father.
Fred: He was threatening your friends.
Wesley: He was threatening you. He pointed a gun at you, Fred... so I shot
him.
Drusilla: (to Angelus) Look what I made. It's called Willy.
Spike: William.
Spike: At least give me Wesley's office. I mean, since he's gone.
Angel: He's not gone. He's on a leave of absence.
Spike: Yeah, right. Boo-hoo. Thought he killed his bloody father. Try
staking your mother when she's coming on to you!
Harmony: Well... that explains a lot.
Gunn: Hey, what's going--
Spike: (hugs Gunn) I'm back, Charlie Boy! That's what's going!
Eve: This town might not be big enough for the both of you.
Spike: Well, screw this town, then. Screw this devil's funhouse, Angel,
and screw you for good measure. I think I'll take the new flesh and bones across
the pond back to Europe.
Gunn: (disturbed) I just went to the white room to see what the
big cat had to say.
Angel: And?
Gunn: Cat's gone.
Eve: Gone?
Gunn: The white room, too. Elevator just opened up into a howling abyss.
You ever heard a howling abyss? Terrible sound.
Sirk: You didn't read the prophecy.
Angel: I didn't?
Sirk: You read a translation of the prophecy. It's like comparing the
King James Bible with the original Aramaic, the Hebrew. Much of the flavor, the
subtlety of usage, the historical context has been stripped away. (scoffs)
Read the prophecy. You may as well have read a 12-year-old's book report on the
subject.
Gunn: I miss Wesley.
Eve: (re: prophecy) So there's a cup.
Spike: Perpetual torment? Just know that's gonna taste very good.
Angel: Is that what you think you are--a hero?
Spike: Saved the world, didn't I?
Angel: Once. Talk to me after you've done it a couple more times.
Spike: You had a soul forced on you--as a curse. Make you suffer for all
the horrible things you'd done. But me...I fought for my soul. Went through the
demon trials. Almost did me in a dozen times over, but I kept fighting. 'Cause I
knew it was the right thing to do. (jumps up to Angel) It's my destiny.
Angel: Really? Heard it was just to get into a girl's pants.
Spike: Take a long look, hero. I'm nothing like you!
Angel: No. You're less. That's why Buffy never really loved you: because
you weren't me.
Spike: (throws Angel against the wall) Guess that means she was
thinking about you... all those times I was puttin' it to her.
Spike: Yeah, well... meantime... this souled ex-ghost vampire's got some
corporeal drinking to catch up on. What do ya say, Charlie-boy? Feel like gettin'
pissed?
Gunn: No. No, my head feels like it's gonna split open and toss my toys
and candy all over the floor.
Spike: You're way ahead of me. Fair enough.
Fred: There haven't been any side effects since you recorporealized, have
there?
Spike: Bit of a hang over, but that's to be expected after all the
drinking.
Spike: Fred... I want you to know... Uh, I mean, all that work you put in
trying to, you know, cure me of the ghosties...
Fred: I didn't do anything.
Spike: Oh, you did. You--you believed in... you tried. I won't forget that.
Fred: You're welcome.
Harmony: (re: camel) Like I said, I did a lot of research. Camel
meat's a delicacy. So I thought it would be a great way to kick off the summit,
'cause of the clans being so uptight? Like... comfort food.
Angel: Comfort food.
Harmony: Uh-huh! And as host, you get the honor of slicing off its hump
and sticking a hot poker through its heart. And then the demon leaders rip apart
its carcass with their bare hands.
Angel: (chuckles angrily) Are you--I don't even know h-how...
Harmony: (re: Fred) (sighs) I just wish I were more like
you. You know, except for the part about being all into science...and not having
a lot up front.
Angel: Just got off the phone with L.A.P.D. They found a body.
Harmony: Where? Did he say where?
Angel: City dump, wrapped in a laundry bag.
Wesley: And the police called you because...
Angel: Apparently, we own them.
Gunn: Right. Makes sense.
Wesley: Of course.
Fred: The size and depth of the wound indicate a female vampire.
Harmony: Or gay!
Fred: Um... it doesn't really work like that.
Harmony: I should've smelled you!
Tamika: You would've if you wore less of that tacky perfume!
Harmony: Chanel's not tacky!
Harmony: Yeah--not mattering. I know that feeling well.
Spike: Oh, come on, Harm, you matter to someone.
Harmony: I do?
Spike: Yeah. Girl tried to frame you, didn't she? Must have mattered to
her. Everybody's talking about it.
Harmony: You're right. That girl hated me. She wanted me dead. I matter.
Gunn: (Re: Warlock) We open a can of Machiavelli on his ass.
Harmony: It's Matchabelli, Einstein, and it doesn't come in a can.
Young Woman: Thank you! Thank you! That thing was gonna kill me!
Spike: Well, what do you expect? Out alone in this neighborhood? I got
half a mind to kill you myself, you half-wit.
Young Woman: What?!
Spike: I mean, honestly, what kind of retard wears heels like that in a
dark alley? Take 2 steps, break your bloody ankle.
Young Woman: I was just trying to get home.
Spike: Well, get a cab, you moron. And on the way, if a stranger offers
you candy, don't get in the van! Stupid cow.
Wesley: Fred, doesn't the Wolfram & Hart satellite have lethal capability?
Fred: What?
Wesley: I mean, couldn't we eliminate a target from the air, untraceably?
Fred: Well, we do have an orbital-range microwave cannon up there.
Focuses the satellite's communication signals into a pinpoint beam. It can raise
the temperature of the targeted area 1,000 degrees in less than 5 seconds. So,
yeah, in theory, we could. That is, if we did that sort of thing. (to Angel)
Do we do that sort of thing?
Spike: My heart. It's... it's beating again! Listen!
Fred: You're human, Spike! You're alive!
Gunn: I wanna hear!
Wesley: Let's hear it for Spike!
Group: Hip, hip, horray! Hip, hip, horray! Hip, hip, horray! Whoo!
Wesley: Sounds like you've been busy. We're getting reports of a
vigilante who matches your description.
Spike: Yes... that's what you people do, isn't it? You get reports, and
you sign checks, you read memos. Here's to the corporate teat. How'd you find
me?
Gunn: Wasn't too hard. Put a couple of our psychics on it this afternoon.
Wesley: One of the advantages of the corporate teat.
Fred: Hey, Harmony, um... any word from Angel?
Harmony: Oh. Haven't heard a peep.
Fred: Maybe we should call him, check in?
Harmony: Act like we care? Good plan!
Angel: Playing your own game here? What do you think the Partners' will
do to you after they find out about your little extracurricular activies?
Eve: So things aren't going your way, and you're looking for someone
outside your little circle to blame. Here's a thought. Maybe you should try
looking inward... unless you don't like what you see.
Harmony: Boss, we just got a tip some looney's hatched from the bin.
Angel: A who did a what?
Harmony: A girl over in the nuthouse went all Cuckuoo's Nest,
hacked up a couple of guards and went over the wall.
Angel: Really not our department, Harmony.
Wesley: Notify the authorities. Make sure they're on it.
Harmony: OK, but they better bring a priest. Looks like this chick's gone
all kinds of Exorcist.
Angel: Wait a minute. She's possessed?
Harmony: Duh! (pauses) Didn't I say that?
Angel: What are you doing here, Spike?
Spike: Didn't get the memo? Hero of the people now.
Angel: Oh, then go and annoy them.
Spike: When I'm done.
Angel: (re: Spike crashing through a 4-story window) What happened?
Spike: Oh, I just thought I'd see what it was like to bounce off the
pavement. Pretty much what I expected.
Andrew: Spike?
Spike: Oh, for the love of--
Andew: Spike? It's you. It's really you! (sobbing) My therapist
thought I was holding onto false hope, but... I knew you'd come back. (sniffles)
You're like... you're like Gandalf the White, resurrected from the pit of the
Balrog, more beautiful than ever. Oh... he's alive, Frodo. (sobbing) He's
alive.
Fred: (re: Slayers) In every generation, one is chosen.
Andrew: Yes, attractive, slender woman.
Spike: (Re: Dana) What do you want me to do? Go all boo-hoo 'cause
she got tortured and driven out of her gourd. Not like we haven't done worse
back in the day.
Angel: Yeah, and it's something I'm still paying for.
Spike: And you should let it go, mate. It's startin' to make you look old.
Angel: Lorne, any luck with the psychics on this place?
Lorne: No, nothin' new. It's still cold, creepy, and smells like molasses.
Wesley: What about... (chuckles) I almost said the words "molasses
factory" out loud.
Angel: She's psychotic, and I'm not turning her over... to you.
Andrew: You don't have a choice. Check the view screen, Uhura. I got 12
vampire slayers behind me, and not one of them has ever dated you. She's coming
with us one way or another.
Angel: You're way outta your league. I'll just clear this with Buffy.
Andrew: Where do you think my orders came from? News flash--nobody in our
camp trusts you anymore. Nobody. You work for Wolfram & Hart. Don't fool
yourself... we're not on the same side.
Spike: (re: Dana) She's... one of us now. She's a monster.
Angel: She's an innocent victim.
Spike: So were we... once upon a time.
Angel: Once upon a time.
Wesley: It's extraordinary. You're--you look... I don't want to say
really hot--
Cordelia: Oh, yes, you do. I'm a vision of hotliness, and how weird is
that? (laughs) Mystical comas. You know, if you can stand the horror of a
higher power hijacking your mind and body so that it can give birth to itself, I
really recommend 'em.
Man: (dragging Sebassis' slave) Yeah, I found the scamp hiding in
one of the copiers, you know? Living on nothing but toner fluid. Can you beat
that? The slave, I mean. I mean, I assume the Archduke's gonna beat him and all
that.
Angel: (to Cordelia) That's--ha--nothing. Do you want to see my
office?
Lorne: Hey, listen, crumbcake, when you're ready to splash back into that
acting pool, just say the word. I'll have you lunching with Colin Farrell like
that.
Cordelia: Who's Colin Farrell?
Eve: Sweetie, I'm liaison to the Senior Partners. You honestly think you
have any control over my comings and goings? Well, maybe not my goings, but you
did have a way with my comings at the Halloween party.
Cordelia: So you two are groin buddies? And I thought Darla was rock
bottom.
Angel: We're not. (sighs) Just... once. There were special
circumstances. Lorne told us to, but mystically.
Cordelia: I naturally assumed you'd be lost without me, but this?
Angel: I am lost without you.
Cordelia: You just forgot who you are.
Angel: Remind me.
Cordelia: Uh, no. That's for you to figure out, bubba. I can tell you who
you were. A guy who always fought his hardest for what was right, even when he
couldn't remember why. Even when he was miserable, which was, let's face it, a
not small portion of the time. He did right. And that gave him something. A
light, a glimmer. And that's the guy I fell in--that, um...the guy I knew. I see
him around here, then maybe I'll start believing.
Cordelia: Remember how I said, "Let's not have your department looking
for those symbols I saw in my vision. Let's do this like we used to, you and me
cracking the books?"
Wesley: Yes.
Cordelia: Well, that was dumb. What'd you ever listen to me for?
Wesley: I don't know. I think I sort of missed this. You and me and the
books, kicking it old school, as they say, and I never will again.
Lindsey: You know, all my carefully laid out plans, my designs, when you
get right down to it, that was pretty sweet, too, huh? Reason enough for me to
come back. You, me... fight to the death... yours.
Angel: I've seen your tough act before, squirt. First time we ever met,
you put on a show. (attacks and stops) Huffing and puffing, telling me I
couldn't lay a hand on your scumbag client.
Lindsey: So you kicked him out of a window.
Angel: Good times.
Lindsey: It was a defining moment. (loud rumbling) Kind of like
this one.
Lindsey: Who is this? Who is this? I came to fight the vampire with a
soul. Guess you shouldn't have sold it, huh? Look at you, from champion to
pathetic corporate puppet in just a few months. You used to have fire in your
heart. Now all you got in there is that big honkin' sword. How does that feel,
champ?
Angel: Could be worse... if it had been made out of wood, you dumbass.
Cordelia: I can't stay. This isn't me anymore. You can say good-bye to
the gang for me, explain everything, once you understand.
Angel: That's gonne be never. I need you here.
Cordelia: Don't make this hard, Angel. I'm just on a different road... and
this is my off-ramp. The Powers That Be owed me one, and I didn't waste it. I
got my guy back on track.
Angel: Cordy, there's just--
Cordelia: We take what we can get, champ, and we do our best with it.
I'll be seeing you. (walks away then stops) Oh, what the hell. One for
the road? (runs to Angel and kisses him)
Fred: What did we do with our lives before we got these jobs?
Wesley: I seem to recall lots and lots of Jenga.
Spike: Of all the bloody faces I expected to see down here.
Angel: You're a nazi.
Spike: What? Oh. No. I just ate one.
Nostroyev: Angelus. Used to be quite the terror back in the day. Haven't
heard much of you lately, though.
Angel: Haven't heard much of you, ever.
Nostroyev: Nostroyev! Scourge of Siberia and butcher of Alexander Palace.
Angel: Sorry.
Nostroyev: I was Rasputin's lover!
Spike: I'm playing nice with the anchovies, like you asked. At least let
me have a go at the wheel.
Angel: Pipe down. I'm trying to work.
Spike: Oh, "pipe down." That official sailor talk, is it? Well, ahoy,
matey. You can just swab my deck.
Prince of Lies: You think I don't know?! I am as ancient as the darkness
itself.
Angel: Yeah, you're real old. We know. Just calm down.
Prince of Lies: They dare conceive such violations upon my temple! The
Prince of Lies is not a slab of meat to be set upon by insignificant maggots.
Angel: Put a sock in it.
Lawson: Funny what goes through a man's mind when his life's hanging in
the balance. Boys talked about that a lot back on the boat. Always figured it'd
be the special moments you freeze in time. Your mom singing you to sleep at
night. Sneaking into the movies with your best friend. The way your girl's hair
shimmers in the sun. But the truth is... the only thing that really goes through
your head is... "wow... this really sucks." And then you're gone.
Spike: Bloody brilliant. Turn the por sod to save the ship then make him
dash for dry land before Mr. Sunshine scorches him a new one. Ha! You're still a
dick.
Angel: Yeah. I am. (Silence. Points to the hatch)
Spike: (Scoffs) Bollocks. (Climbs the ladder)
Spike: (Re: Lawson) Took him long enough. Know revenge is best
served cold and all, but his must've been frozen solid.
Angel: I don't think that's what he was after.
Spike: No? Then what was he looking for?
Angel: A reason.
Angel: Wes, it wasn't just breakfast. You know, it was, uh... breakfast. I
mean, here we had this very good, very platonic thing going on, and then all of
a sudden, out of the blue--
Wesley: Are you blind? Angel, there are things called signals. Odorless,
yes. Invisible, certainly. But unmistakable, like the ones she's been casting
your way for months.
Angel: No. I would have noticed--
Wesley: This isn't just from me. This comes from people who know. This
comes from the ladies.
Angel: The ladies?
Wesley: Fred, Harmony... the girls in transcription. As Harmony put it, "While
else would a chick who's coming to spend 3 nights in a jail cell dress like it's
her first date?"
Angel: Oh, God. The ladies are right.
Angel: Wes, it's not gonna happen.
Wesley: Why?
Angel: Because I'm not that guy. That guy is charming and funny
and... emotionally useful. I'm the guy in the dark corner with the blood habit
and the 200 years of psychic baggage.
Wesley: Get over it!
Angel: Why are you yelling at me?
Wesley: Because! Angel... if there's a woman out there... who you find
truly attractive, who you think about, let's say, most of the time, who
represents even part of what you think makes the world worth fighting for, and
who doesn't view you as an entirely sexless shoulder to lean on... you have to do
something about it.
Fred: Oh my God! Angel, you're... cute!
Angel: Fred, don't!
Fred: Oh, but the little hands! And the hair...
Angel: Hey! You're fired.
Spike: Hello, big guy! Need another car. Afraid this last one ended up in
the drink...
Angel: Spike...
Spike: Look at you.
Angel: Just turn around and walk away.
Spike: You're a--
Angel: Spike!
Spike: You're a bloody puppet! (Angel tackles Spike through the door
and brawls with him) You're a wee, little puppet man!
Gunn: C'mon Lorne. We're through talking to this hump of garbage.
Framkin: Uph, no name-calling at Smile Time.
Lorne: Bad person!
Framkin: Bye-bye now.
Lorne: My little Prince. (Angel groans) Ohh... what did they do to
you?
Angel: Nina... tried to... eat me.
Lorne: Oh, you're--medic! You're gonna make it Angel. Just don't stop
fighting. Doctor! Is there a Geppetto in the house?!
Wesley: The object you described in that secret room is most likely a
repository for the children's life force. We'll have to break the binding magic
on it.
Fred: Which should free those children and... reverse your puppet problem.
Angel: (Angel scurries over and hugs Fred's waist) I love you guys.
Fred: You're just gonna go, aren't you?
Wesley: Fred--
Fred: Haven't you been... sensing anything lately... about me... coming from
me?
Wesley: Uh...
Fred: Didn't occur to you that...something might have changed? That--I'm
looking at you in a different--oh, screw it. (kisses Wesley)
Wesley: Um...
Fred: That was a signal. OK? Is that... clear enough for you?
Wesley: Not even close. (he kisses her passionately)
Gunn: What's up?
Wesley: I should ask you. You seem unutterably cheery.
Gunn: I am. I am. Look... I gotta be straight with you, 'cause this is
kinda blowin' my mind.
Wesley: Tell me.
Gunn: Fred and I are gettin' back together. (Wesley's smile melts)
She was so keyed up from last night's fight, she asked me over. We ended up
talkin' for hours, like old times. Then, all of a sud, I can't even keep this
up, 'cause your face is gonna make me weep. Wes, I am so messin' with you.
Spike: Look, if cavemen and astronauts got into a fight, who would win?
Wesley: Ah. You've been yelling at each other for 40 minutes about this.
(pauses) Do the astronauts have weapons.
Angel and Spike: No.
Lorne: Oh, sheesh. Get a balcony, you two, huh?
Fred: You'll still find me for lunch, though, right?
Lorne: I'll just look for the sun shines. (singing) You are my
sunshine, my only sunshine.
Fred: (singing) You make me happy (Lorne whips around. Fred
spits up blood on Wesley's face and falls back into Lorne's arms)
Wesley: Get medical. Someone get medical now!
Lawyer: I'm sorry to interrupt. I just need to know if the Holbein Clan
history was here. It was supposed to be faxed to my office.
Wesley: It can wait.
Lawyer: These guys are really important. I just need... I mean, the whole
company can't be working Ms. Burkle's case.
Wesley: Of course. (takes out a pistol and shoots the lawyer in the
knee)
Lawyer: Aah! Aah! Aaah! (a woman stops in the doorway)
Wesley: Jennifer... please send anyone else who isn't working Ms. Burkle's
case to me.
Eve: Why would we do anything to Fred? Why would we even care about her?
(Lorne sucker-punches her)
Lorne: Ooh! ooh, oh, I'm sorry, that was a knuckle-buster. (chuckles)
I'm Jake La Motta over here. It's pathetic. (sighs) Here's the thing,
Eve. You're going to sing for me, and I'm going to read you right now. And
here's one more thing--Winifred Burkle once told me, after a sinful amount of
Chinese food and in lieu of absolutely nothing, "I think a lot of people would
choose to be green. Your shade, if they had the choice." If I hear one note,
one quarter-note, that tells me you had any involvement, these two won't even
have time to kill you. Oh, and anything by Diane Warren will also result in your
death--well, except Rhythm of the Night.
Fred: I have to work.
Wesley: You have to lie down.
Fred: I am not... I am not the damsel in distress. I am not some case. I
have to work this. I've lived in a cave for 5 years in a world where they killed
my kind like cattle. I am not going to be cut down by some monster flu. I am
better than that. (pauses) What a wonder... how very scared I am.
Wesley: I swear on my life we will stop this, but you must be back in
bed. That's where I need you to fight.
Fred: Like I'm 6 years old. (collapses in his arms) This is a
house of death. (looks at Wesley's tome) That can call up any book you
need?
Wesley: Every one.
Fred: Then bring it. Take me home.
Angel: (walks towards Spike who is looking down the hole) Spike...
Spike: This goes all the way through to the other side. So I figure
there's a bloke somewhere around... New Zealand standing on a bridge like this
one looking back down at us. All the way down. There's a hole in the world.
Feels like we ought to have known.
Fred: Would you have loved me?
Wesley: I've loved you... since I've known you. No, that's not... I think
maybe even before.
Fred: I'm so sorry.
Wesley: No, no, no.
Fred: (coughing) I need you to talk to my parents. They need to
know I wasn't scared. That it was quick. Th-that I wasn't scared. Oh, God.
Wesley: You have to fight. You don't have to talk just concentrate on
fighting. Just hold on.
Fred: I'm not scared. I'm not scared. I'm not scared.
Please... Wesley... why can't I stay? (goes limp in his arms)
Wesley: Please. Please. (sobs. Fred's eyes turn blue. She twitches and
throws Wesley off)
Illyria: (rising from behind the bed) This will do.
Illyria: Oh... now I remember. Winifred Burkle is the shell I'm in.
Wesley: She's the woman you killed.
Illyria: This is grief. I'm watching human grief. It's like offal in my
mouth.
Wesley: If you stay here, you'll taste it every day, every second. Look.
Humans rule the Earth. They will last for millenia... like roaches crawling
everywhere. Crying and sweating and puking their feelings all over you. Go back.
Sleep until the humans are gone. They are stupid and weak. They'll kill each
other off and you can return to the world you deserve. Leave this shell.
Illyria: You seek to save what's rotted through. This carcass is bound to
me. I could not change that if I carted to, but you have opened my eyes to truth.
If the world is truly overrun by humans... (tosses Wesley into wall) then
I have work to do.
Knox: She's so much more than that now. Beyond flesh. Beyond perfection.
I loved Fred. I really did. She had a warmth that took you in and held you
uintil everything cold and distant melted away. She was the most beautiful,
perfect woman I ever met. That's why I chose her. She's the only one that was
worthy. (Wesley pulls out gun)
Gunn: Wes, don't. We need him. I know how you feel--
Wesley: Do you know? You didn't feel her die. She was shaking with pain
and terrified and so brave. And she was better than anyone I've known, and
better than... and she's gone.
Illyria: You are the Qwa'ha Xahn.
Knox: I am your priest. I am your servant. I am your guide in this world.
I've taken your sacraments and placed them close to my heart according to the
ancient ways. That's why you were called to me. We're bound together.
Illyria: My last Qwa'ha Xahn was taller.
Knox: I--I may be shrinking a bit, in the glory of your presence.
Wesley: What did you do, Charles?
Gunn: It was just a piece of paper. I was losing it. Everything they put
in my head, everything that made me different. Special. And he could fix it.
Make it permanent. So I signed a piece of paper. It was a custom's release form.
I didn't think anyone would get hurt.
Wesley: Nothing from Wolfram & Hart is ever free. You knew that.
Gunn: I couldn't go back... to being just the muscle. I--I didn't think it
would be one of us. I didn't think it would be Fred.
Wes: I understand not wanting to go back. Not wanting to be who you were.
I understand it. And I can forgive it. But you knew what was happening to her.
You knew who was reponsible and you didnt say anything. You let her die. (picks
up knife stabs Gunn) I'm less forgiving about that.
Angel: (slams Wesley against wall) What the hell did you do?
Wesley: What I had to.
Angel: I don't remember seeing "stab Gunn" on the agenda this morning.
Wesley: I avoided the major organs. He'll probably live.
Angel: Is that supposed to make it all right?
Wesley: Nothing is all right! Nothing will ever be all right.
Angel: We'll get her back, Wes.
Wesley: No, we won't. Fred's soul... her soul was destroyed resurrecting
Illyria.
Harmony: How could you do that? To your friends? To Fred?
Gunn: Because I was weak. Because I wanted to be somebody that I wasn't.
Because I don't know where I fit. Because I never did. Because a thousand other
reasons that don't mean a damn 'cause she's gone. She's gone... and she's not
coming back because of me. I did this, and I'm sorry. (starts crying) I'm
sorry.
Illyria: You are the protector of these creatures?
Angel: Yes.
Illyria: You'd fight for their lives?
Angel: Yes.
Illyria: (to Knox) Even this one?
Knox: Is that an issue? Is my life in peril, boss? King?
Illyria: (re: temple) No. It can't be. It's gone. My world is gone.
Wesley: (puts a gun to her temple) Now you know how I feel.
Illyria: I've nowhere to go. My kingdom is long dead. Long dead. There's
so much I don't understand. I've become overwhelmed. I'm unsure of my place.
Wesley: Your place is with the rest of your people: dead and turned to
ash.
Illyria: Perhaps... but I exist here. I must learn to walk in this world.
I'll need your help... Wesley.
Wesley: If I were to help you find your way... you have to learn to change.
You mustn't kill.
Illyria: You killed the Qwa'ha Xahn in defiance of your leader.
Wesley: He murdered the woman I love.
Illyria: And that made it just.
Wesley: No. It wasn't just. I'm probably the last man in the world to
teach you what's right.
Illyria: But you will. If I abide, you will help me.
Wesley: Yes.
Illyria: Because I look like her?
Wesley: Yes.
Illyria: We cling to what is gone. Is there anything in this life but
grief?
Wesley: There's love. There's hope... for some. There's hope that you'll
find something worthy... that your life will lead you to some joy... that after
everything... you can still be surprised.
Illyria: Is that enough? Is that enough to live on?
Spike: So what's on the agenda?
Angel: Uh, I have assignments for people. (snapping noise)
Spike: What? I'm listening. With beer.
Angel: Forget it. You know what? This isn't a meeting. This is you being
annoying.
Angel: I should never have let her come here. Bad things always happen
here.
Spike: Hate to break it to you, mate, but bad things always happen
everywhere. Besides, she wanted to be here. It was her choice.
Angel: Was it?
Spike: Bugger. You're fixing to do something stupid, aren't you?
Angel: Done it. Came here.
Eve: Ooh, I'm intimidated. What could you possibly do to me? I've been
trapped in this house for weeks like a--
Spike: Rat? Snake? Beady little rat snake?
Lorne: What I know is I started drinking the moment that I found out that
a girl I loved was gonna die. Every time I get to the bottom of the glass, I
hope that that last drop is gonna take me the distance.
Bartender: OK.
Lorne: A simple plan that failed utterly, which is why I'm gonna heave my
tuchis off this stool, strap the bells on, and with a smile and a quip, go back
into the belly of a very ugly beast and pretend like I can help.
Bartender: Hmm
Lorne: 'Cause that's what the green guy does.
Angel: Listen, Gunn... I know you feel bad about your part in what
happened to Fred. And you should. For the rest of your life, it should wake you
up in the middle of the night. And it will. Because you're a good man. You
signed a piece of paper, that's all.
Gunn: But I knew. Not about Fred, but... when I signed, I knew there would
be consequences.
Angel: You now, the thing about atonement is, you never run out of
chances... but you gotta take 'em. You can't hide in some hospital room and
pretend it's all gonna go away... 'cause it never will.
Gunn: Car's built to get us there. Once we have Lindsey, it's on us to
find The Wrath.
Spike: The Wrath?! You know that's gonna be a giggle.
Wesley: Are you telling me the great Illyria, idol of millions, was
limited to one small dimension?
Illyria: I travelled all of them as I pleased. I walked worlds of smoke,
and half-truths, intangible. Worlds of torment and of unnameable beauty. Opaline
towers as high as small moons. Glaciers that rippled with insensate lust. And
one world with nothing but shrimp. I tired of that one quickly.
Lorne: Uh, Angel, you should know there's a very tall, well-dressed,
uh--where' s Gunn? Angel?
Angel: He, uh--he stayed behind.
Lorne: Stayed behind? But you never leave a--or... I guess we do. That's
what we do now. (thumping on the door)
Eve: Oh, God!
Lorne: Like I was saying. (Hamilton bursts in)
Angel: Damn... he is well-dressed.
Illyria: All I am is what I am. I lived 7 lives at once. I was power and
the ecstasy of death. I was god to a god. Now... I--I'm trapped... on a roof. Just
one roof.... in this time and this place, with an unstable human who drinks too
much whiskey and called me a smurf. (Wesley chuckles) You don't worship
me at all, do you?
Lindsey: Not an apocalypse, the apocalypse. What'd you
think, a gong was gonna sound? Time to jump on your horses and fight the big
fight? Starting pistol went off a long time ago, boys. You're playing for the
bad guys. Every day you sit behind your desk and you learn a little more how to
accept the world the way it is. Well, here's the rub... heroes don't do that.
Heroes don't accept the world the way it is. They fight it.
Angel: You're saying everything we do... it's a distraction... to keep us
busy from looking under the surface.
Lindsey: (snaps his fingers) Ding! We have a winner! The world
keeps sliding towards entropy and degradation, and what do you do? You sit in
your big chair, and you sign your checks, just like the Senior Partners planned.
The war's here, Angel. And you're already 2 soldiers down.
Wesley: Illyria can be... difficult. Testing her might be hard without
getting someone seriously hurt.
Angel: We'll make Spike do it.
Wesley: Good.
Illyria: You break so easily. Why do you bother getting back up?
Spike: Right. We need to set some ground rules. First off--no more
punching me in the face. Secondly, when I punch you in the face, you tell me how
you feel so I can write that down on my clipboard. Third--no touching my
clipboard. Fourth--
Illyria: I enjoy hurting you.
Spike: Well, we're gonna have to fix that, 'cause-- (Illyria kicks
Spike in the face. Spike punches her. Illyria punches him across the room)
Wesley: How goes it?
Illyria: I've been hitting the half-breed. He makes noise.
Wesley: I had a... slight disagreement with Angel.
Spike: Oh, old broody-pants got you wound up, eh? Keep in mind, he can't
get laid without maybe going crazy. Makes it funny.
Illyria: In my time, a leader would punish your insolence with death.
Wesley: We're not being insolent, Illyria.
Spike: I am.
Hamilton: Let's be clear about this. Things run differently now. I'm not
a little girl. You and I won't be making love on this couch anytime soon. Now,
with that in mind, how can I help you?
Connor: Do you spend all your time making out with other vampies, like in
Anne Rice novels?
Angel: No. Uh--I used to, but...
Connor: You have a girlfriend at least?
Angel: Can't afford to.
Connor: Must be lonely.
Angel: I keep busy.
Connor: Right.
Illyria: I'd like to keep Spike as my pet.
Angel: Connor, this is Spike and Illyria. Guys, this is Connor.
Connor: Hi. umm... I like your outfit.
Illyria: Your body warms. This one is lusting after me.
Connor: Oh... no, I--I--it's just that it's the outfit. I guess I've had a
thing for older women.
Angel: (under his breath) They were supposed to fix that.
Cyvus: I turned your son into a healthy boy. And now, I need you... to
turn him back into a killer.
Wesley: Fred's memories were changed?
Illyria: In places.
Wesley: Can you see what they were before?
Illyira: No. They're gone. Does this change your view of Fred? Is she
still the person you thought she was?
Wesley: No. None of us are.
Connor: Right. Well, before you start trying to kiss me, I should
probably tell ya... you and I, we're uh... supposed to fight.
Sahjahn: Is that right?
Connor: Yeah.
Sahjahn: Now, why would you want--ah... you're him.
Connor: Yeah. I'm me. Hi. You can take a moment, if you want. There's
some weapons and stuff over here if you think you'll need them.
Sahjahn: Thanks.
Angel: Connor.
Connor: Whoa! You see that? I went a little hard-core there for a second.
That guy made me really cranky.
Angel: Are you OK?
Connor: Yeah. I guess. I don't really like people touching my neck, you
know?
Connor: Anyway... I just wanted to say goodbye. I gotta go back to my life
now.
Angel: Oh... do you really have to leave? I mean, right now?
Connor: I kinda think I should. I need to take care of my parents. This
isn't their world. They really don't feel safe here. You gotta do what you can
to protect your family. I learned that from my father.
Wesley: (re: Illyria saving Gunn) I doubt this poses a risk to her.
She has the power of a god.
Angel: She has the ego of a god.
Wesley: She was ruler of the world, after all. This sort of thing goes to
one's head.
Angel: Apparently.
Wesley: I stabbed you. I should apologize for that. But I'm honestly not
sure how. I think it'll just be awkward.
Gunn: Good call.
Wesley: Ok.
Illyria: This shell... you had affection for it. For Fred.
Spike: Tons. Loved the bird.
Illyria: Yet you strike at her form without sentiment.
Spike: You ain't her. I can see it. Lord knows I can smell it. And I got
no problem hittin' it.
Angel: If this is our chance to get into a better grace with the head
office, I have to say it's not my priority.
Hamilton: Oh, no, don't think about us, Angel. Think about profits. It's
profits that let you keep this plucky little boat-load of good above water. It's
a business, boys, not a batcave.
Lorne: Well, I'll tell you what--still like him better than Eve.
Wesley: I wanted to bring back Fred.
Illyira: And destroy me.
Wesley: As an unavoidable consequence. Does it sting you... my betrayal?
Illyira: Betrayal was a neutral word in my day. As unjudged a word as
water or breeze. No. Or perhaps... I am only bothered because I am bothered.
Wesley: That sounds very close to human.
Illyira: Motes of dust. Mayflies who die so soon after they're born they
might as well not live at all.
Wesley: Now, now. Manners.
Hamilton: Curing cancer, Mr. Wyndam-Pryce?
Wesley: Wouldn't be cost-effective. I'm sure we make a lot from cancer.
Hamilton: Heh, yes. The patent holder is a client.
Illyira: Do you know what you were when I was young? You were the muck at
our feet. We called you the ooze that eats itself. You were pretty at night. You
sparkled, and you stank. You still stink of it!
Angel: Will you just shut up for once?!
Illyira: What?
Angel: My God, the speechifying. Has it ever occured to you that now
might not be the best time for when-we-were-muck stories?
Illyira: You ask me to allow you to murder me.
Spike: It's not murder if you say yes.
Illyira: (the energy begins to explode from her) I blame this on
the weakness of your species.
Wesley: Fair enough. (he fires the gun. Illyira falls to the ground)
Illyria...
Illyira: Touch me and die, vermin.
Spike: Not a very dramatic difference, really.
Wesley: Everything is different.
Wesley: (re: Illyria) I'm not in love with this thing, Angel.
But... for some reason, I need it right now.
Angel: Yeah. That's just weird.
Wesley: I know.
Angel: Gunn. The baby belongs to the Fell.
Gunn: What? She hasn't signed anything. There's nothing on paper.
Angel: Gentlemen.
Gunn: Angel. What are you doing?
Angel: What we're supposed to. Serve our clients.
Angel: Just admit it: you think you're gonna ride in, save the day, and
sweep Buffy off her--
Spike: Like you're not thinking the same thing.
Angel: I'm already seeing somebody.
Spike: What, dog girl?
Wesley: Illyria. Perhaps you should return to the lab.
Illyria: I do not bend to your wishes.
Wesley: I'm not asking you to. Merely suggesting that more tests might
lead to knowledge of how to help you function.
Illyira: I go because it suits me.
Lorne: Whew. Ah, too bad that whirly-jig thing didn't suck the sass out
of her.
Angelus: (re: The Immortal) He's my archnemesis.
Darla: Ohh. Darling. It was just fornication. Really great fornication.
Spike: She's glowing, mate.
Angelus: She isn't.
Darla: Little bit.
Spike: Best fit you for a pair to antlers. Been made for a right cuckold,
you have.
Drusilla: Time for another pony ride?
Spike: Son of a bitch!
Angel: Huh? Oh, yeah, here it comes. The part where you run off alone and
play the big hero so Buffy'll take you back. Well, news flash, Blondie Bear:
never gonna happen.
Spike: Look! I know I don't have a shot with her, all right? Probably
never did, but I still care about her, and I'm not gonna let her end up with a
jerk like The Immortal. Or you.
Angel: Well, ours is a forever love.
Spike: I had a relationship with her, too.
Angel: OK, sleeping together is not a relationship.
Spike: It is if you do it enough times.
Ilona Costa Bianchi: Ciao! Benvenuti! Welcome! Ah, Spike. Ha ha ha. Oh!
You are the very meaning of handsome. You take my breath away. Ah I have no
breath. Ha ha ha! And you, what an honor. The great Angelus.
Angel: Actually, it's just Angel.
Ilona Costa Bianchi: Ah, yes, of course. The gypsies, they gave you your
soul. The gypsies are filthy people. (spits) And we shall speak of them
no more.
Angel: I helped saved the world, you know.
Spike: Like I haven't.
Angel: Yeah, but I've done it a lot more.
Spike: Oh, please.
Angel: Closed the Hellmouth.
Spike: I've done that.
Angel: Yeah, you wore a necklace. You know, I helped kill The Mayor and,
uh, and Jasmine and--
Spike: Do those really count as savin' the world?
Angel: I stopped Acathla. That saved the world.
Spike: Buffy ran you through with sword.
Angel: Yeah, but I made her do it. I signaled her with my eyes.
Spike: She killed you. I helped her! That one counts as mine.
Andrew: Dude, seriously, I thought of all those things, but turns out
Buffy fell for The Immortal on her own, and--and now she's happy. That's it.
Angel: But she's not finished baking yet. I gotta wait till she's done
baking, you know, till she finds herself, 'Cause that's the drill. Fine. I'm
waitin' patiently, and meanwhile, The Immortal's eatin' cookie dough! (sighs)
Andrew: Uh, Spike, is Angel crying?
Spike: No! Not yet.
Illyria: (as Fred) Wes? Are you, like... mad at me or something?
Wesley: Stop it.
Illyria: Isn't it what you desire? I mean... you love me, I love you.
What's the big deal?
Wesley: I loved her.
Illyria: You loved this. And a part of you still does. I can feel it in
you. I... wish to explore it further.
Wesley: Never. You... like this. It sickens me.
Illyria: (as Fred) Oh, lord. We both know that ain't true.
Wesley: Stop it! Change back. Be blue. Be anything. Don't be her. Don't
ever be her.
Angel: For the last... very long moment I haven't had a single coherent
thought.
Nina: I'm gonna take that as a compliment.
Angel: You really should.
Nina: But now, the brow is back. (re: Illyria) If she's not on
your mind, then...
Angel: There's--there's a lot more than usual going on.
Nina: Work?
Angel: Always.
Angel: I know I've spent years fighting to get somewhere... to accomplish
something... and now that I'm close to it... I don't like what I see. What I am.
Nina: You're a hero.
Angel: (softly) Oh, that word.
Nina: You're my hero.
Angel: I may not always be.
Spike: Anyhow, I thought Wesley was giving you the primer on all things
human.
Illyria: He and I are no longer having intercourse.
Spike: Y-ah. You wh-what?
Illyira: He has ceased communication with me.
Spike: Oh! Oh. Communi--
Illyira: My recent reversion to the Burkle persona disturbed him. And he
will not tell me why.
Spike: You don't know? You may not think you're as powerful as you were,
Highness, but looking like Fred, for some of us... it's the most devastating
power you have.
Spike: Listen, you need some Boretz killing done, I'll have a go. I
haven't had a decent tussle since the Blue Meanie and I stopped sparring.
Wesley: Yes. All right. Call me if you find anything. I'll be in my
office learning what I can.
Illyria: He showed no regard for my presence.
Spike: Not that you require any creatures attention. (Illyria glares)
Hey, wanna go find something to hit?
Lorne: What's the weather report?
Wesley: Cold. Icy, actually.
Lorne: Well, he cut 6 of my clients loose, didn't even tell me. I spent
all day talking them off ledges and out of pill bottles.
Wesley: I sense that suicidal celebrities are beneath Angel's concern.
Lorne: These are very pretty people I'm talking about, Wes, 4 of them are
getting in shape for Young Guns III.
Wesley: The small stuff that you can't worry about, would that include
Fred?
Angel: I loved Fred.
Wesley: That's not an answer.
Angel: Then I guess you don't get one.
Hamilton: (re: Illyria) I gotta tell ya, I'm a little disappointed.
(hits her) Didn't think a big, scary Old One bled this easily. Maybe it's
this skinny, little body you chose to infect. (hits her again) Or maybe
it's that ray gun they shot you with to keep you from exploding. Or maybe... (punch) you're.... (punch) just... (punch) not... (punch) that... (punch) cool!
Yes, that's probably it. (stomps on her face)
Angel: This isn't a keep-fightin'-the-good-fight kind of deal. Let's be
clear. I'm talking about killing every... single... member of the Black Thorn. We
don't walk away from that.
Lorne: Do we crawl away, at least?
Angel: We do this, the Senior Partners will rain their whole wrath.
They'll make an example of us. I'm talking full-on hell, not the basic
fire-and-brimstone kind we're used to.
Gunn: We know the drill.
Angel: No, you don't. 10-to-1, we're gone when the smoke clears. They
will do everything in their power to destroy us. So... I need you to be sure.
Power endures. We can't bring down the Senior Partners, but for one bright,
shining moment, we can show them that they don't own us. You need to decide for
yourselves if that's worth dying for. I can't order you to do this. I can't do
it without you.
Vail: You have ascended, Angel. You should not be burdened with this kind
of--(gasps) Aah! Sebassis! Your manservant has become entangled in my
bodily fluids again! (Angel pushes the slaveboy)
Slaveboy: Eeeep!
Vail: We are most interested in Mr. Wyndam-Price. He seems intriguingly
unstable.
Senator Brucker: Mr. Gunn, on the other hand, does not, which is a pity.
He had so much potential.
Sebassis: He is not, however, our greatest concern.
Angel: If the next words out of your mouth are kill Spike, we just might
have to kiss.
Angel: You haven't heard a word I've said. For, like, years back.
Lindsey: Well, you get a little speechy, all right? I breeze out. I got
the Cliff Notes--honor and humanity. Absolute good. I heard it. So here's the
plot twist--I'm in.
Angel: Why?
Lindsey: Everybody goes on about your soul. Vampire with a soul. Nobody
ever mentions the fact that you're really a vampire with big brass testes. This
is gonna be a circus. I mean, win or lose, you're about to pick the nastiest
fight since mankind drop-kicked the last demon out of this dimension. And that
you don't do without me. If you want me, I'm on your team.
Angel: I want you, Lindsey. I'm thinking about rephrasing that.
Lindsey: Yeah, I think I'd be more comfortable if you did.
Gunn: What if I told you it doesn't help? What would you do if you found
out none of it matters? That it's all controlled by forces more powerful and
uncaring than we can conceive, and they will never let it get better down here.
What would you do?
Annie: I'd get this truck packed before this new stuff gets here. Wanna
give me a hand?
Gunn: I do.
Wesley: There is no perfect day for me, Illyria. There is no sunset or
painting or finely-aged scotch that's going to sum up my life and make tonight
any... there is nothing that I want.
Illyria: You want to be with Fred.
Wesley: Yes. Yes, that's where I'd be if I could.
Illyria: I could assume her shape, make her come alive again this once
for you. But you would never ask me to.
Wesley: The first lesson a Watcher learns is to separate truth from
illusion. Because in the world of magics, it's the hardest thing to do. The
truth is that Fred is gone. To pretend anything else would be a lie. And since I
don't actually intend to die tonight, I won't accept a lie.
Connor: I know you're my father.
Angel: You got your memories back.
Connor: Yeah, they're mixed in there with the new ones. Kind of like,
uh... a bad dream I had, I guess. A very strange and violent, at times,
inappropriately erotic... dream.
Angel: You probably have a lot of questions.
Connor: No. I don't want to make a thing. I get what you did. You
know... I'm grateful. That's as far as I want to take it... OK?
Lorne: Hey, Angel I, I'll do this last thing for you, for us... but then
I'm out, and you won't find me in the alley afterwards. Hell, you won't find me
at all. Do me a favor. Don't try.
Spike: What do you think all this means for that Shanshu bugaboo? If we
make it through, does one of us get to be a real boy?
Angel: Who are you kidding? We're not gonna make it through.
Spike: Well, long as it's not you.
Angel: Get out of the building.
Harmony: Are you firing me?
Angel: Among other things, yes.
Harmony: Do you think I could get a recommendation?
Angel: Yeah, OK.
Harmony: But see, if you don't so much live as the other thing--
Angel: It's already in the desk.
Harmony: You're the best.
Angel: What the hell are you doing here?
Connor: Come on. You drop by for a cup of coffee, and the world's not
ending? Please.
Lindsey: You don't think a man can change?
Lorne: It's not about what I think. This was Angel's plan.
Lindsey: Come on. I could sing for you.
Lorne: I've heard you sing. (shoots him)
Lindsey: Why--why did you...
Lorne: One last job. You're not part of the solution, Lindsey. You never
will be.
Lindsey: You kill me? A flunky?! I'm not just... Angel... kills me.
You... Angel...
Lorne: (sighs) Good night, folks.
Illyira: You'll be dead within moments.
Wesley: I know.
Illyria: Would you like me to lie to you now?
Wesley: Yes. Thank you. Yes. (Illyria changes into Fred) Hello
there.
Fred: Oh, Wesley. My Wesley.
Wesley: Fred. (whispering) I've missed you.
Fred: (kisses him) It's gonna be OK. It won't hurt much longer,
and then you'll be where I am. (crying) We'll be together.
Wesley: I--I love you.
Fred: I love you. My love. Oh, my love.
Gunn: Any word on Wes?
Illyria: Wesley's dead. I'm feeling grief for him. I can't seem to
control it. I wish to do more violence.
Spike: Well, wishes just happen to be horses today.
Angel: Among other things.
Gunn: You take the 30,000 on the left.
Illyria: You're fading. You'll last 10 minutes at best.
Gunn: Then let's make it memorable.
Spike: In terms of a plan?
Angel: We fight.
Spike: Bit more specific.
Angel: Well, personally, I kind of want to slay the dragon. Let's get to
work.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
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